5 Ways to Apply Mel Robbins’ “Let Them” Theory as an Airbnb Host
Running an Airbnb can be stressful. From managing guest communications to maintaining your property, it's easy to feel overwhelmed by the constant demands of hosting. That's where the "Let Them" theory comes in—a revolutionary mindset that can transform your hosting experience while preserving your peace of mind.
What is the “Let Them” Theory?
The "Let Them" theory is a hosting philosophy that emphasizes letting go of micro-management and accepting that guests will be guests. Rather than trying to control every aspect of the hosting experience, this approach encourages hosts to focus on what truly matters while letting go of the rest.
This mindset isn't about lowering your standards—it's about creating a more sustainable and enjoyable hosting experience for both you and your guests. By letting go of perfect control, you create space for authentic hospitality.
The "Let Them" theory gained widespread popularity through Mel Robbins, a renowned motivational speaker and author. She championed this approach as part of her broader philosophy on personal development and stress management. While Robbins popularized the theory through her content and speaking engagements, the core concept draws from established psychological principles related to acceptance and letting go.
The theory's origins can be traced to ancient Stoic philosophy and modern mindfulness practices, though Robbins' application to hospitality and service industries has made it particularly relevant for Airbnb hosts. Her practical interpretation has resonated with hosts worldwide who struggle with the balance between providing excellent service and maintaining personal boundaries.
1. Let Them Ask About Check-in Details
When guests message about check-in information that's already in your house manual, resist the urge to feel frustrated. Instead, simply re-send the instructions. The guest will appreciate your prompt response, and you'll avoid unnecessary stress.
When a message pops up about check-in details (that are totally in your house manual and messages) - let them. Re-send the instructions. The guest will be grateful.
2. Let Them Leave Imperfect Reviews
Received a 4-star review mentioning something beyond your control? Let them. Future guests will see the complete picture, including your Superhost status and overall rating. Every review offers an opportunity to improve, even if the criticism wasn't entirely fair.
Got a 4-star review mentioning something beyond your control? Let them. Your future guests will see the whole picture, and your Superhost status speaks for itself. And—maybe you have room to improve.
3. Let Them Contact You at Odd Hours
When guests message at 2 AM about a booking three months away, don't feel obligated to respond immediately. Let them send the message, keep your phone on silent, and respond professionally in the morning.
2AM question about a booking three months away? Let them. Hopefully your phone is on silent and replying in the morning is perfectly professional.
4. Let Them Cause Minor Wear and Tear
Found a new scuff on the wall or a chipped mug after checkout? Don't let it ruin your day. Minor damages are part of the hosting business, and obsessing over every small imperfection will only increase your stress levels.
Found a new scuff on the wall or a chipped mug? Let them. Don't sweat the small stuff. Damages are a part of every business.
5. Let Them Enjoy Their Privacy
If guests are quiet after check-in, resist the urge to check in repeatedly. Let them enjoy their vacation in peace, trusting that you've prepared a wonderful experience for them.
Radio silence after a guest arrives? Let them. Your guests are on vacation. Trust that you've done the leg work to provide a great experience.
Benefits of the "Let Them" Approach
Reduced hosting stress and anxiety
More authentic guest experiences
Better work-life balance
Sustainable hosting practice that prevents burnout
Improved mental wellbeing
Finding the Right Balance
The "Let Them" theory doesn't mean neglecting your responsibilities as a host. It's about finding the sweet spot between providing excellent service and maintaining your sanity. When you embrace this mindset, you're not being negligent—you're being realistic about what you can control (your preparation and response) and what you can't (guests being guests).
Implementing the "Let Them" Theory
Review your house rules and identify areas where you might be over-controlling
Practice responding to common situations with a "let them" mindset
Create systems that allow for guest autonomy while maintaining property standards
Focus on what truly matters for guest satisfaction
In conclusion,
Hosting is a beautiful balance of service and boundaries. The "Let Them" theory helps you navigate this balance with grace, preserving your peace while still providing exceptional experiences for your guests.
Remember: You can't control everything about the guest experience, but you can control how you respond to hosting challenges. By adopting the "Let Them" mindset, you'll create a more sustainable hosting business that brings joy to both you and your guests.